Space AND Boundaries

 

What are the dangers of encouraging children to develop as spontaneous, creative individuals by allowing them to view situations from different standpoints, take risks, make mistakes and follow their natural impulses?

Let’s get the obvious out the way first. The dangers of allowing kids freedom to be themselves? Mostly, they won’t be who we wanted. They will be themselves. Spontaneous and creative kids, they are also, messy, accident prone, and will fail a lot before they succeed. It will be hard to watch, and if you have a strong need to control things, trust me……sometimes don’t watch.

As a teacher and a mother of teenagers I can give you advice on both sides of the issue. Let them do and follow where ever they want to go. Let them climb and fall, make messes, and change their minds. They may want to quit dance after 5 years, it OK. What I would suggest to parents is that as they are giving their kid freedom, remember that they are looking to you for the structure, the routine, and even the rules. They may not always like what the rules mean to them, but I can tell you that having regular expectations gives a sense of comfort, confidence, and safety. Even in the teen years, when I try to let my kids lead the decisions, sometime they ask for me to just make the plan and not ask for input. They want to know the plan and expectations so that they can be free to be creative and make mistakes in that space.